Unforgiveable
by ThinePerfection
Summary: Hidan knows he's breaking Jashin's number-one rule by falling for Kakuzu. He tries to deny his affections to himself, for the sake of his morals, sanity, relationship with Jashin, and partnership with Kakuzu, but will he succeed? - Maybe KakuHida. c:
1. Blade

Hidan growled, angrily plopping onto a rock in the corner of the cave.

A storm had caught he and Kakuzu by surprise, and it took them five minutes to find shelter. Now they were both soaked, cold, and to make it worse, it looked like the storm wasn't going to let up anytime soon. It was alright 9pm, which meant they would have to postpone their mission until morning, and Pein would surely get upset that they didn't have it done when he wanted it to. They'd both get punished, even though the sudden change in weather was completely out of their hands.

And, to make it worse, they had to sleep in a freezing cold rock cave.

"This is all your fuckin' fault, 'Kuzu." growled Hidan, taking off his cloak so that he wasn't as wet. Kakuzu shot him a deadly glare, but the Jashinist didn't even react to it. "It's my fault that it started raining?" he inquired in a low, dangerous tone. Hidan quirked a brow and grimaced. "What are you, retarded? No, if we hadn't stopped at that damn collection office, we would have made it to the village in time, you fucking greedy money-whore!" he snapped back. "If it weren't for you, we'd be in a fuckin' hotel right now, and not all cold n' wet n' shit! Of course, since of all people I had to be stuck with YOUR cheap ass, it would have been a fuckin' cheap hotel with rats or some shit! And now, Pein's gonna fuckin' be up our asses cuz we didn't finish the goddamn mission on time-"

"Shut up, Hidan." Kakuzu interjected venemously. Through his entire rant, the ex-Taki nin hadn't taken his dead-eyed glare off his partner. Now, with his browline furrowed, he looked extremely pissed. Even Hidan wasn't stupid enough to mess with Kakuzu when he was pissed.

The Jashinist let out a melodramatic sigh and leaned back against the cave wall, watching as Kakuzu went back to watching the rain from the entrance. Hidan pulled a small, metal blade out of his pocket, fiddling with the shiny object out of boredom. Despite having been used so much over the years, its edges were perfectly sharp. It looked brand new.

After stealing a glance at his older partner, Hidan turned his violet gaze back to the blade. Finally, after another minute or so of fidgeting with it, he took the metal piece between two of his fingers. He turned his arm over so that it face wrist-up, and his bluish veins were clearly visible to his porcelain skin. So were all the thin, silver scars running the length of his forearm.

Pressing the cool blade against his skin, Hidan glanced at his partner again. He wondered if Kakuzu was even aware that he cut himself. Then again, he'd never been very included in Hidan's life, and even if he had noticed, he probably figured it was due to his religion-related sadism.

Which, in part, it was. It felt good to him, and brought him a euphoria that he wasn't sure anything else could. But some of it was due to his depression... that nobody except himself was aware of. Since he ran away from home at the age of 16, leaving six of his neighbors dead, the Jashinist always had this... Guilt carried with him. Associated with leaving his parents, who probably were over it by now, and were probably avoided by the rest of the village for having an insane son. And then there was the nagging feeling that he was never good enough, and was too annoying, and put up his egocentric front due to that, which he knew everybody hated.

Associated with breaking Jashin's number-one rule by falling for somebody. And also breaking Jashin's number-six rule by that somebody being a man. And, lastly, breaking his own rule by that man being Kakuzu.

He just didn't understand it. He'd never felt this way about anybody before, and it definitely wasn't "love" at this point. But Hidan just felt... Attracted to his partner. There was just something about him... Something that the Jashinist couldn't lay his finger on. Something that he never wanted to admit-not even to himself, because it was just... _wrong_.

Wrong, and against his lord-and-savior Jashin's rules, and against his own morals, and he knew it. But that didn't stop the pressing realization that he was really starting to actually like somebody, in a way that he didn't understand at all, and in a way that he wasn't sure was forgiveable by Jashin. He wanted it to go away, and as much as he thought he'd grown to hate his partner the past three years, he wasn't so sure it ever really was hate he was feeling.

Stealing a final glance at the object of his unwelcome affection, Hidan sighed.

The blade broke his skin.


	2. Like A Little Boy

"Hidan." _Whaaaat?_

"Hidan... It's dawn. We need to start moving again." _Fuck moving, I'm trying to sleep here!_

For a moment, the Jashinist wondered if his inward complaints actually worked and a small smile settled on his lips. He curled closer to the cold rock he'd fallen asleep on during the late hours of the night.

"God dammit Hidan," Kakuzu growled, "I said get _up! _We have to go."

Hidan opened one eye tiredly, blinking into the harsh sunlight coming through the cave's entrance. He glared at his partner through hazy morning vision and furrowed his brow. "Fuck you! I'm sleepin'." he spat back, pulling his cloak over his head to block out the sunlight. Just as quickly as he had, however, Kakuzu pulled it back down. "You ungrateful little brat. Get up, or I'll make you."

The Jashinist snorted, a smirk curling onto his pale features. He'd replaced the shade of his cloak with his arm and had no intentions on getting up for the miser. This was a money mission, anyways. And he hated those.

"Whatever, Kakuzu. Gimme five more min- HEY!" he cried as he was yanked up by his wrist. Harshly, too. He winced and tried to wriggle free of his partner's grasp, but that only made the fresh scars on his arm sting even harder. So he resorted to barking like always. "Oi! Fuckin' cheapsate, let me G-"

Kakuzu yanked him again, this time towards himself, and tightened his grasp on the younger man's arm. He narrowed his eyes dangerously, warning Hidan to say anything else. Normally, he would have. But now, his only focus was that his face was literally inches from Kakuzu's. Lingering there, tempting him oh-so horribly...

... _Gah! What the hell is wrong with me?!_

Snorting, the Jashinist averted his gaze and pulled away from his partner's grasp. After snatching his cloak out of the taller man's hand and retrieving his scyth from the corner, he pushed past Kakuzu without another word, continuing their journey from where they had left off last night.

A surprised arch played on Kakuzu's brow, but a triumphant feeling settled over him. Finally, he was starting to knock enough sense into Hidan for him to listen.

Or so he thought.

Once they entered the village, Hidan finally quit what Kakuzu assumed was pouting and started to act his normal self again.

"Oi, 'Kuzu," the silver-haired man looked over his shoulder at his partner, who was only a couple steps behind him. "Let's stop for some food. I'm starving!" he complained, haulting in the middle of the street. He didn't have to worry about interrupting pedestrian traffic; the village seemed mostly vacant, other than a couple of kids running around here or a lady on the phone there.

Kakuzu stopped next to him, that ever-judgemental look in his eyes as he glanced at Hidan. He couldn't say he wasn't hungry himself, but stopping for food meant wasted time and wasted money. However... It also meant keeping Hidan quiet for another few minutes and he'd go without complaining about food the rest of the way.

Decisions, decisions.

"C'moooon, 'Kuzu!" Hidan whined, even though the miser hadn't given an answer yet. "You're a big fella. You know the importance of food just as well as I do! 'Sides, there's a restaurant right over-" he pointed at a shop at the intersection of two streets not too far away. "-there. And I'll pay for my part with my own money this time!"

Kakuzu quirked a brow at his partner. Hearing him speak without swearing every other word was a rare thing, and sounded almost comical. He'd been partnered with Hidan for three years, though. He knew that if Hidan wasn't cursing up a storm, there was something wrong. He didn't mention it, though.

"Hidan... You do realize that I'm part of the reason you even get paid, right? It's basically my money, anyways."

Hidan shrugged and grinned like a little kid. "So that's a yes then?" he asked enthusiastically. He really was hungry, but if they sat down to eat, that meant more time to spend with Kakuzu that they weren't arguing, which was something that he really wanted more of.

But he'd never admit it.

"We're not stopping any more until nightfall, so y-" before Kakuzu had the chance to finish his sentence, Hidan chimed in, "Hell yeah! You're cool sometimes, you know that?" before heading off to the restaurant without another word.


	3. Porcelain

"Fuck, that was good," Hidan said, satisfied with the meal he just had. He stretched in his seat before turning his gaze toward his partner, who didn't seem to notice he was talking. The miser was looking through some ad in a newspaper he'd picked up at a stand outside. That didn't surprise the Jashinist; Kakuzu always had something better to occupy his time with. Hidan felt like he was always his partner's last priority.

It wasn't a pleasant feeling, considering the situation. Snorting through a displeased grimace, Hidan scratched the side of his neck. "'Ey... Kakuzu. Isn't our guy's house right down the road?" he asked after clearing his throat. It took him a minute, but Kakuzu glanced up, an inquisitive arch on his brow. "Yeah. Are you done? We need to get moving."

The zealot's eye twitched in annoyance. He gestured rather dramatically to his empty plate and glass, "The fuck does it look like? Seriously, how fuckin' stupid can you be? Obviously I'm not done eating. My plate's definitely not fuckin' EMPTY or anything, y'know?..." Kakuzu stopped listening to his partner's rant at that point. Instead, he smirked slightly, grateful his partner couldn't see his amusement underneath his mask.

His partner sure was a trip, wasn't he? "Shut up, Hidan. Or I'll kill you." he threatened. This time though, there wasn't that usual venom in his tone. He didn't really mean it this time.

Hidan, however, didn't seem to register that. "Oh, fuck me! Not THAT again! You know _damn well _you can't fuckin' do a thing to me, asshole! So don't act all high-and-mighty like you always do!"

Kakuzu sighed and stood up, beginning to walk toward the door without waiting for the younger man. Hidan's expression took a turn for an even MORE offended one, and he began to bitch even more. "KAKUZU! You just gonna fuckin' ignore me? You son of a bitch. Wait up!" he spat, jogging to catch up with his partner.

When he caught up, Kakuzu gave him a sideways glance. Hidan was fidgeting with something in his pocket, not paying attention anymore, and no longer bitching and moaning like always. The miser took the moment to assess his partner's lean physique. He was pale as snow. That part of him had always freaked Kakuzu out a little bit. No matter how long they were out in the sun, Hidan's skin stayed a porcelain color. And, as smooth and flawless as it was, he might aswell _be _a doll.

His hair matched his skin. It was a strange silver color. This, along with his skin, contrasted his dark violet eyes in a way that brought them out nicely. Although they were always narrowed in either annoyance or because he was upset.

Next was his stature. Hidan wasn't a small man; standing at 5'8", he was only two inches shorter than his partner, although not nearly as muscular. Hidan was more lean and agile looking, but he was still strong. The muscles that he did have were very refined, making him look more athletic than he was. Kakuzu smirked slightly at that. He'd known the man long enough to know that he would never commit to any kind of sport, as he'd rather be sitting at home eating everything in sigh or playing video games.

On the subject of muscles, he was pretty sure that Hidan never wore a shirt because he knew he was hot shit. Sure, he really did ruin a lot of shirts through his rituals over the years, but that only gave him a legitamate excuse. He rarely wore shirts before Pein decided to stop providing them for him, anyways. Besides, Kakuzu didn't wear a shirt either, but he kept himself covered up.

Plus, he knew Hidan well enough to know that he would show off any chance he got.

Finally, he looked at the Jashinist's hands. He had long, slender fingers, and hs fingernails were painted forest-green like his own. He still didn't understand why every one of the Akatsuki had to paint their nails, but he figured it was just a symbolism thing, like their rings. Hidan's ring was on his left index finger, and was the same silver as his hair. The kanji on his ring stood for "Three," which he also didn't understand.

He noticed all of the scars on Hidan's wrists, too. There were small ones, and ones that stretched nearly the length of his forearms. Many of them were shallow, but some looked pretty deep. He also had a jashinist symbol carved into the thin skin at the base of his wrist which would probably leave a scar once it healed. He noticed the freshest looking ones were right around the symbol. They were still red and tender-looking, like they had just been inflicted.

He couldn't help but wonder when he'd done those, and why. He knew Hidan was something of a masochist(Who was he kidding? He was the biggest masochist on the face of the universe.) and that could very well be reason alone for the cuts, but he wasn't sure. He had never paid enough attention to his partner to know if he had a psychological thing going on, and it didn't help that he didn't know a thing about Hidan's past.

That hit him as a surprise. Three years, and he didn't even know why Hidan left his village, even though he knew almost everybody else's. Of course, he figured Hidan didn't know Kakuzu's reason, or care for that matter, so it didn't matter.

Hidan looked up at Kakuzu as he pushed open the door to the restaurant. "So, which way from here?"

Think I'm dropping this story here. ^w^ It's not that good anyways. I have other ideas floating around in my head that I'd like to write, but I can't if I'm worried about coming up with ways to end this, soo... Yeah. x3

-ThinePerfection


End file.
